July 21, 2009

A Pure-Blood or a Muggle?

If there's anything that irks a Harry Potter fan, it is those people who claim they are "HP fans" too because "they have seen all the movies, and find Emma Watson really hot". These are the morons, desperate to be counted amongst the in-crowd, who have not read even a single book of the series but try to jump onto the bandwagon when the Harry Potter rage sweeps the world (in the form of a book or a movie release). The basic differences between a true Harry Potter fan and a wanna-be fan/non-reader are these:

1. The true fans have read all the books and are crazier about the book than the movie.

2. If the adaptation of the book to the movie is not perfect, the true fans frown upon it. The phoney ones are just happy with the amount of special effects and Hermione's length of role in the movie. Even then, the true fans do like the movie, because after all, it's a Harry Potter Movie and a standard visualisation to their imagination.

3. The true fans separate themselves from the wanna-be's by calling themselves pure-blooded and the wanna-be's, Muggles. But among themselves they dare not call each other even pure-blooded because that's a premise of only the magical world.

4. For the true fans a Harry Potter movie is different from any usual English movie. And they hate it if a critic (who's most of the times a non-reader) rates the movie as any other English movie. They believe it's none of the Muggles' business to give their opinion about Harry Potter as only their own opinion matters the most and is exclusive.

5. The true fans understand an insiders' joke in the movie, while the phoney laugh along as and when the audience laughs.

6. The true fans are peeved when Michael Gambon dramatically brandishes his wand, unnecesarily. The lesser-witted ones are awed by his style.

7. The true fans know who Michael Gambon played in the movie. The wanna-be's are clueless.

8. Some of the true fans start a countdown many days before the release of the movie. Those who don't sheepishly admit that they didn't think of starting one, but admire the mania of their brethren. The Muggles ask the pure-blooded "kaunsa part aa raha hai" and take their girl/boy friends to the movie. The fans obviously watch the movie with their like-minded friends only.

9. A real fan will be physically annoyed when Ron's character acts like a joker in the movie reduced to a mere side-kick to the brave Harry and the intelligent Hermione. They know the real Ron in the book is actually a fiercely loyal friend to Harry and someone who always loved Hermione and no one else (unlike the way Harry had a serious thing for Cho) and not just a friend to be a butt of all jokes and embarrassments in the movie. The wanna-be fans will laugh at Ron and will not realise that most of Ron's important dialogues from the book are blabbered by Emma Watson.

That was that, now decide which camp you belong to.

11 comments:

GnR said...

hey nice post gaurav....i liked it. u made me realize tht m nt a HP fan. but m sure ther wont b greater HP fan than u.But wot makes u so insane abt HP?? i'd lov to know tht.

nilesh said...

I agree wid all d points dude. Recently while watching d movie in the theatre a group of boys were just making mockery of some characters!! Why d hell would such ppl watch d movie itself if dey arn't interested or havn't read d book!!

angel from heaven said...

Brillaint post I love harry potter read every book cover to cover in fact queued up for 6 hours on the release so that I could have the book immediately than sat up all nite and read it!!

freudian slip said...

i dont know who michael gambon is.. but that makes my blood purer by your standards.
here's why:
its because i STOPPED watching the IDIOTIC movies after the 2nd because its blatantly obvious that the director hasn't even read the book in question. the movies are painfully disappointing. i so agree with all your points and have a few more in mind.
makes me so angry when someone claims to be a hp fan because they have seen the movies. i dont mind wiping them out 'for the greater good'. :P

divsi said...

super duper post gaurav...:) was so frustated durin the half blood prince movie..wen ppl who havnt even read the book were lamentin on it..[grrrr];) n points 1, 5 ,n the ron-wala pt is so so true!!
poor ron was wasted in the movie!!:( chasin that git of a brown:)
m readin a gud hp post afta long..so pardon my excitement:)
cheerz!

divsi said...

n i wish i cud crucio the director of the half blood prince!;p

Tia said...

I'm sure a die-hard HP fan n m proud to be one....

You have done a pretty perfet comparison of Pure blood n muggles, well distinguished...

I do know a few nutters who fall in the muggle category n believe me, they really piss you off at times esp. wen they claim to know much more then you by jus watching the movies even though ur the one who's read all the book....

mantiz said...

my thoughts exactly!
I've read every single book soon as they came out but am yet to watch a Harry Potter movie in its entirety. They all sucked big time! :/
IMHO, The ones making those movies deserve nothin less than an avada kedavra..!

keep writin!

workhard said...

Honestly.. i am not a HP fan at all.. havent even read a single book.. but of all the books i have read that have been turned into movies.. i personally felt that the books were far better... ...

Work from home India

Yashad said...

Will a true fan also like a certain late Richard Harris more than a Michael Gambon?

Gaurav Tārkar said...

yes yes yes yashad! a true fan finds a closer resemblance of Richard Harris to Albus than Gambon